Watchmen
Director: Zack Snyder
Writer: Dave Hayter & Alex Tse (screenplay); Dave Gibbons (graphic novel illustrator) & Alan Moore (graphic novel)
2009
Wow. And I use that word in the worst context possible for a film. Because of all the hype for the film, because this is one of the the greatest graphic novels, and because of Zack Snyder I was excited to see this film. If you’re like me, you should stop being excited right now. I’m saving you some grief. Some graphic novels do not transfer well into films and this is definitely one of them – I would say it’s the poster child for such things. Watchmen is nothing to get excited about, it is weaker than weak and I shall tell you why. From the opening titles and the superb way Snyder intercuts the history of the watchmen to Bob Dylan’s great song “The Times they are a Changing” until maybe an hour into the film I really liked it. Then something happened. There was a shift that caused the story to take a wrong turn and even the music declined in quality. From this point until the end you will have to deal with superheroes who are rendered really lame mostly because of the actors, and for a film that relies heavily on characters that is a terrible thing.
First, there’s the whole Silk Spectre thing, yeah she does know how to fight but the innate coolness, strength and toughness just wasn’t there. And for the most part she is portrayed as a misguided woman torn between two lovers. One of them, Nite Owl, has potential to be cool but is nerded up by Patrick Wilson’s performance. It’s not entirely his fault though, since it takes more than the actor to give a bad performance or to make a character really weak – it’s the writer, director and anyone else who had anything to do with the characters who are also at fault. I know he is supposed to be a bit nerdy but come on, this is just awful. Then of course, the most annoying of all is Dr. Manhattan. Seriously, he is the most annoying character ever (right alongside Jar Jar Binks).
What Watchmen needed was more Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the Comedian – that’s why the first hour is great. His character is awesomely ironic, and with a name like the Comedian he is anything but – he is more like a sociopath, and a very entertaining one at that. I would have rather seen more of his character than Silk Spectre getting it on with Nite Owl. Rorschach is pretty cool too but the film doesn’t do as much with him as it could have and don’t even get me started on the end of the film and his final scene! Ugh. It is one of those perplexing, disappointing moments where you think “gee, that was so lame”. For the most part, Rorschach is used as the narrator and when the film allows him to do something it is entirely awesome and stunning, so more screen time and character development for him and the Comedian would have made this film better, not a lot better given the rest of it, but probably more watchable with less eye rolling.
So, for a character heavy film there needs to be actors who can bring something special to their characters, not just be empty shells dressed up as costumed heroes. And because the acting is weak, the entire film falters. Not all the blame rests with these actors, it is also the fault of the director to whom I would ask “what happened?” The film started out so promising then quickly turned around into a film showcase of bad acting and a boring story. By the end of it, I was like “who cares?” I am very disappointed in this film and I would never watch it again even if it was on tv, for free. If I wanted to see awesome Zack Snyderesque action sequences, vivid cinematography and cool editing techniques I would have watched 300 and I suggest you do the same. Don’t waste your time watching Watchmen.
